Went out tonight with a friend of mine that I met back in college (24 years ago. SCARY). The two of us  worked in some junior clothing store together.

We were laughing about things that happened back then and I remembered why it is I got out of retail.  (I don’t mean to insult anyone in retail…in fact I admire your patience and tolerance!)

These may not be funny to you, but after finally getting that martini tonight, everything is funny to ME. I’m having my own “inside joke” moment.

1.  If there is a blizzard on the night of inventory, plan on sleeping in the stock room or lose your job if you leave.

2. If a child in a carriage says “Fuck you” to you…you will have to suck it up, smile and say “Come again” or “Thank You”.

3.  If the security guard in the fur department gets off by watching 20 year old’s model tight jeans, halter tops or mini dresses for their moms…….(run on sentence in play)……and ejaculates into a fur coat, you will have to fire him.

4.  You spend more than you earn. (I bought the mini dress the twenty year old modeled)…..(and the jeans and halter).

5.  Santa needs to hire more helpers throughout the world, ’cause the holidays suck when you’re in retail. Or maybe it’s that the customers suck?

6.  People are slobs and think you have “chambermaid” written on your head.  Imagine the most disgusting thing you can think of being left in a fitting room and picture yourself cleaning it up.  I’m not gonna elaborate here……use your imagination.

I always wondered why no one created a  sitcom about a retail store………

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