When You Have a Son
If you had known me in my younger days, you’d have known I was the most unathletic human in the world. I did not participate in any sport. I constantly bailed from having to run in phys ed by with 180 constant days of ”PMS” each school year. And by all accounts I should have failed gym altogether.
I knew nothing about quarters, innings, periods (other than the kind I used as my alibi for getting out of phys ed.), strikes, fouls, goalies, cleats. You get my point.
And then I had a son.
While he humors me with watching “What Not to Wear” and helping me to cook, he is all about sports. It was either sink or swim for me.
I am now proficient in baseball, lacrosse and basketball. I am the administrative director for the football program. I am a voting member of the Sports Booster Organization in town. Because if you can’t beat ‘em….join ‘em.
But there was one sport I did my best to avoid having to get involved with.
Because who wants to see their child sat on, twisted, bent, semi choked and red faced? And WHO on earth wants to sit in the bleachers for 3 hours or more for your kid’s chance at a 30 second match?
Guess who is now sitting in bleachers for 3 hours at a clip? Moi
- Wrestling singlets are hideous. I wish I could understand why these uniforms need to be so skimpy and ugly.
- I have a son that thinks “tapping out” is a fate worse than death.
- You’d better sit next to someone you really like, because 3 hours next to someone annoying is unbearable and it is rude to pick up and move.
- Just because your child’s arm looks as though it’s being dislocated…it doesn’t necessarily mean it hurts. At least that’s what my son says.
- The scent of hot dogs and sauerkraut in a hot school cafeteria adheres to your clothing and hair. Don’t make plans for anything but a shower after a match.
- Hold on to your belongings, or you will be crawling underneath some very dirty bleachers to retrieve the glove, scarf or money that falls between the cracks and slits.
- Say goodbye to your weekends, because essentially they are gone the entire season. Saturday and Sunday
Thankfully, there are just 4 more weeks left to the season. I keep hoping he will not like it and keep this a one year thing, but it’s not looking that way.
I just received a text from my husband saying my son took first place in a tournament.
I stayed home for this one. Used an oldie but goodie for an alibi….it’s that time of the month