The Very Un-Mom Side of Me
You’ll either have more respect for me after reading these, or think I’m a complete disaster. I am guessing I may lose a few followers after this post.
1. I like to sleep naked. I just love the feeling of the cool cotton sheets on my skin. I don’t get to practice this one much anymore, because my son’s 9 and I just feel it’s not appropriate. The other weekend, my husband was traveling for work and my son slept at my parents for the night. I slept in a little bit and was woken up by my son and dad. They were standing right next to my bed. Yes, I was naked. And yes, I’m still mortified.
2. When I have a girl’s night out, my significant other will send me little texts. They are usually sexual in nature and are supposed to entice me to hurry home. I love them and it’s fun to flirt with him like that after so many years together. However the downside to texting is that if you have spell check many words are not recognized. Sexual words included. So it’s hard not to laugh when some of them arrive. For instance: “Can’t wait to ‘blah, blah, blah’ your clot“. Clot? It’s only one letter off from the correct spelling, but hysterically incorrect, especially after a nice glass of wine.
3. I am a notorious klutz. But a fashionable klutz at that. One morning during rush hour, while working in NYC’s garment center, I fell right there on Broadway. Apparently I missed the fact that there was a curb to walk up and I landed on my knees in the middle of masses of people. One woman helped me up. Heel broken, torn stockings, bloody knees. Head over to my office building and get in the elevator. Same woman is there too. Off the elevator and into my actual office. Same woman is there too. Same woman? My 8:30 AM appointment with the new Bloomingdale’s buyer. The funny part of this is…..she did buy from me. We are now friends, even 20 years later. And she will never let me forget that I am a massive klutz.
4. I really don’t drink very well. If I have more than two glasses of anything…I start to lisp. So rather than sounding like a 45 year old Cindy Brady, I keep things to two drinks or less.
5. I had a difficult time in conceiving. Right after my second IVF, my mom came to stay with me for a couple of days, because I had to be on bed rest and my husband was traveling for work. Loved her staying with me. She did my cooking, laundry and housekeeping. Who wouldn’t love that? When I was allowed to get out of bed finally, I attacked putting away the laundry. My mom had neatly folded some lingerie for me. I had to laugh. Good grief. How do you look your mom in the face after she’s folded your black lace bra and thong?
Okay, that’s enough for the dignity loss post…