I wasn’t always this way, but I have become this way.  And it’s not really my fault either. The fault lies with the availability of Parent Portal Software.

See, in our town, when your child hits middle school (6th grade), they allow you to spy on your child’s school career through interactive software. I am now capable of seeing that each homework assignment has been handed in, each test result, each project due date, each testing date……and so on.

I have visions of receiving an award at the end of the school year for “Parent Who Logged in Most” with an award winning 420 log-ins.  That’s the equivalent of logging in twice a day for the length of the school year (180 days) plus approximately twice each weekend. Yes, I am obsessing. Pass me some Xanax.

My intro “interaction” with one of his teachers:

I am quite disturbed over the grade my son received on his last quiz. If you knew my son, you would know that math is his strongest subject. He scored a perfect score on his state math test and so to see that he received a 65 is upsetting.  I looked at his test and signed it as per your request. I even took the test myself and I would like to point out that the section he answered incorrectly, is not clearly worded. When I worded the question more clearly, he was able to answer them correctly……………..

 

Ugh. In retrospect, I can see that she probably read that and

1. Laughed her ass off.
2. Flagged my son as having a lunatic for a parent.

I should have just kept my big mouth shut and just waited it out, because his grade has worked itself back up to a 94.

What I’d like to say to another of his teachers, but will patiently wait on so that I don’t make an ass of myself yet again:

I realize my son was one day late on handing in an assignment, however you are now 6 days late on posting test results and his homework results. If my child is penalized for not handing in an assignment in a timely manner….what is your penalization? I realize that you have quite a bit of work, however according to the school you teach in you are required by the principal to post results during your two free periods. So kindly quit hanging out in the teacher’s lounge (or whatever it is that you ARE doing), and POST YOUR STUDENTS RESULTS.  WTF HAVE YOU BEEN DOING FOR  6 DAYS OF FREE PERIODS??

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