Homemade? Store Bought? Or Not.
There’s a client who I work with very regularly and it’s become like a 2nd office to me. It’s great because working from home can get pretty lonely, and the alternative “shopping out of boredom” can get me in too much trouble. So when I’m bored or need some adult contact, I head over to his office.
The staff there is…..uh….eclectic. That’s pretty much the only word I could think of that says it subtly. There is one boy? man? there who is in his early 30′s and married with one 6 year old son. For the purpose of this story, we will call him “John”.
John earns a good salary from his job. Lives in a nice home in a nice neighborhood. John’s wife is a pleasant woman (who should be sainted for all that she puts up with.) John is a a nice guy really, but he’s just so damn loud all the time, so nervy and SO…..cheap. Economical?
Here’s a for instance:
Someone came by the building during the course of one night and put in the dumpster boxes of books. Cookbooks, fitness books, reference books. John saw the books there (why someone checks dumpsters is beyond me, but that’s not the point.) and brought about a dozen of them in. He then proceeded to take a roll of wrapping paper from my office and had an office assistant wrap all those books.
To recap:
- John is giving his wife used, dirty cookbooks, fitness books and reference books for Christmas? If you met her you would know that while she loves to cook…fitness is the last thing on her mind.
- John took MY wrapping paper, without asking me?
- What part of these gifts came from John, besides sorting through garbage? He couldn’t even wrap them and had a co-worker do it for him.
And the reason I even wrote this post at all was because of today’s event.
Today John brought in some of his wife’s home baking. He does it pretty often, which is very nice. The baking ranges from muffins, to cake and my personal favorite, cookies. Before today I never questioned if she did actually make these things. After hearing about his Christmas book extravaganza I now wonder where these treats come from.
The cookies he brought to the office today were Ginger Snaps. He came over to me and the gentleman I work for with a sandwich bag of 4 cookies. He asked us to share them and walked away. I looked at those cookies. Tasted one. They really were awesome. Then I looked at them again. And I laughed. There is no way she made these cookies.
All four cookies could be perfectly stacked. All equal in shape, roundness, thickness, flatness. Completely even in color with not one having any overcooked edges or blemish. Not one crack or split on the surface. The bottoms were perfectly clear of any pan marks, burns or cookie debris. They were amazingly soft, even though they were cold. None of the crumbliness of home baked cookies.
So I wonder to myself, (yes I was a gossip and wondered it out loud to my client as well as the book keeper) what is the real deal behind these cookies and the other treats he brings in? Did these come from a dumpster? Did he mooch them out of someone else’s office? Cause I am telling you….NO HUMAN MADE THESE COOKIES BY HAND, BY SLICE AND BAKE OR FROM SCRATCH!
And now that I think about it even further, this office building is approximately 1/4 of a mile from a well known cookie and cracker factory. Need I say more?
YIKES!
[Reply]
@BrilliantSulk on twitter.
said:
Have you heard of the Freegans?
Crazy vegan people who troll dumpsters at night in search of edible food (how can it be edible, it came from a DUMPSTER!!) They bring their bundle of crap home and make a wonderful dinner.
So I wouldn’t be eating those cookies if I were you…
.-= Amanda@Brilliant Sulk´s last blog ..I Think I Need A Cookie =-.
[Reply]
Nancy
@ifevolution on twitter.
Replied on : December 16th, 2009 at 7:53 PM
Oh boy! I have never heard of this. Garbage being violated??
[Reply]
@Pickletalks on twitter.
said:
Yes, I would probably be thinking the same thing. But it’s the thought that counts, right?
[Reply]
Nancy
@ifevolution on twitter.
Replied on : December 16th, 2009 at 7:57 PM
Um, yeah.. the thought that counts. LOL.
[Reply]
@Maven on twitter.
said:
I loved this one! Laughed out loud because it takes all kinds and I so enjoy reading about them!!
LMAO at the line: fitness is the last thing on her mind.
.-= Maven´s last blog ..Post It Note Tuesday – Last Minute Holiday Details =-.
[Reply]
what a schmuck. i can’t figure out his motive…why would someone bring in store bought stuff and try to pass it off as homemade? what’s up with that?!!!
.-= Noelle´s last blog ..i {heart} pets =-.
[Reply]
Nancy
@ifevolution on twitter.
Replied on : December 18th, 2009 at 4:00 PM
I have no idea. Today, while I was at the office one of the women there told me she saw what looked like the same cookies at CVS for $1.99. So maybe he just picked them up there? I’m going to go with that one….which beats the thought of them coming out of a dumpster.
[Reply]
Does he gain better social status if he is the office hero by bringng in “Home Made” cookies? When I was in an office…everyone loved the person with the treats no matter if they were store bought or home made…so why lie? hmmm
.-= Modernmom´s last blog ..I could never be a Duggar…. =-.
[Reply]
Nancy
@ifevolution on twitter.
Replied on : December 18th, 2009 at 4:04 PM
Sadly enough, not really. To take this one step further, today he complained that the menu the girls there planned for the holiday was “cheap” and that he could eat that kind of food any day of the week. One of the women there pointed out to him that he was a) lucky to get anything to begin with and b)should be thankful he even has a job in this economy.
[Reply]
@trinmom on twitter.
said:
Oh my gosh Nancy,
Ewww and
STAY AWAY FROM JOHNs BEARING GIFTS!
And that’s all I have to say about that.
.-= Mom of Three´s last blog ..With thanks =-.
[Reply]
Creepy and gross! The part about his wife’s Christmas gifts is the funnist part to me. I don’t care what my husband gives me for Christmas (or if he even gives me anything at all – it’s more about the kids for us) but if he gave me crap he found in a dumpster…I just can’t imagine.
.-= existentialwaitress´s last blog ..My favorite Christmas story. Ever. =-.
[Reply]
Nancy
@ifevolution on twitter.
Replied on : December 18th, 2009 at 4:09 PM
Today one of the women there told me that when she finished wrapping those gifts for him, he announced “Good, now I am done with my wife’s gifts this year”. Wonder how big the black and blue on his forehead will be when she hits him with that fitness book?
[Reply]
@orangepeelings on twitter.
said:
Wow…eclectic, indeed! I’d kick my husband if he brought me a stack of wrapped books from a dumpster!
And definitely…stay away from the cookies! Used cook books are one thing. But food?? EW!
.-= Dawn´s last blog ..WOO HOO!! =-.
[Reply]
An older woman I know once retrieved a mink coat she saw someone throw in a dumpster (we don’t know why someone tossed it). I once nabbed a cool book rack behind a store that they were tossing out (after asking the management). That’s the extent of acceptable dumpster diving in my book.
I think this guy must have real issues with money. He’s gone beyond “thrifty” to “creepy and unacceptable.” Makes me wonder if he hoards things.
.-= threeundertwo´s last blog ..The Charms of Christmas =-.
[Reply]
Nancy
@ifevolution on twitter.
Replied on : December 18th, 2009 at 4:14 PM
I have no idea why he’s so thrifty really. That cookie thing is still the talk of the office (exciting office, huh?). One woman told me that he once went over to the cookie plant and asked them what they do with broken cookies. LOL. I kid you not.
[Reply]
ok, i have never gone dumpster diving. BUT…i do grab items that have been put out for the trash, usually large plastic toys that can be seen as i drive by that have no business in a landfill that we cannot afford to buy or that i do not want but can be dropped off to someone who might. we do shop thrift and garage sales and i wonder if the only difference is that these items weren’t in an actual dumpster, just festering boxes in the garages of the original owners. to be honest, dumpsters at office parks are usually pretty safe, as far as non creepy contents. once,when required to hunt a missing file thought to be in the office dumpster, i was pleased to find it unstinky and creepy only by virtue of what i knew it to be.
as for the nabbing of your wrapping paper, i think that sucks along with giving a bokk of no interest to his wife as a gift. john does sound to be a pain in the ass type person. back to my defense of rescuing items before they hit landfills: my husband wants the book angels and demons, i look at salvation army regularly. they reported that they tossed 100s of copies monthly because they can only keep items for so long. this bummed me out. people need books. people need trees. people need air to breathe, and space to live. while we are facing our own financial crisis, we are pained daily about the state of our planet and what we shall leave for our kids as we burn though our most precious resources, unnecessarily. sorry for tirade. love you. love the earth. maybe something to consider. reuse. recycle. what is the 3rd R?
.-= magda´s last blog ..The Facelift =-.
[Reply]
Nancy
@ifevolution on twitter.
Replied on : December 18th, 2009 at 4:21 PM
I am all for recycling and passing down items that are no longer of use to someone. I’m good with taking items that people put by the curb. I’ve left many a Fisher Price/Little Tykes at the bottom of my driveway.
Used and dirty books that are of no interest to your wife as a gift? Yikes.
[Reply]
magda
Replied on : December 18th, 2009 at 4:25 PM
yucky and of no interest are bad in all ways for all things. agreed…especially in the name of a gift whether free or otherwise. he definitely is beyond lame and disturbing.
.-= magda´s last blog ..A Real Timesaver =-.
[Reply]
@thinkspin on twitter.
said:
That takes regifting to a new low. I hope John doesn’t read your blog. I worked with a real cheapskate for over nine years. He once ordered the secretary to lock the supply cabinet because he worried the staff was taking too many paper clips. After she was fired, I took on the responsibility of managing the supply cabinet and promptly unlocked it.
.-= Lauren´s last blog ..Post-It Note Tuesday: What’s on your medicine cabinet? =-.
[Reply]
Nancy
@ifevolution on twitter.
Replied on : December 18th, 2009 at 4:21 PM
My blog is top secret. Shhhhhhh.
Your boss sounds like a trip.
[Reply]
Lauren
@thinkspin on twitter.
Replied on : December 18th, 2009 at 11:19 PM
He’s great material. Obsessive compulsive and anal. When he walks, he looks like he has a stick up his ass.
I no longer work there but have a good friend, who still does and keeps me up-to-date. I recently read a memo to the sales staff. In it, they asked him to write a form letter they could use for selling online. He basically told them that he was too busy and wished the company could afford to have a marketing department as well as a washroom attendant.
.-= Lauren´s last blog ..WTF Friday: Dead Man Walking! =-.
[Reply]
@goodgirlgonered on twitter.
said:
I’m OK w. recycling. I’ve done my own fair share of picking out of a box of books outside a neighbor’s home, but giving them as gifts kind of, eh, rubs me in a weird way. I hope they were in good condition, at least. And, yeah, if those cookies were so well shaped, NO WAY were they homemade, unless she/he had one of those *As Seen On TV* Cookie Spritzer things!
Left you some bling on my blog yesterday!
.-= Andrea´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday! =-.
[Reply]
Nancy
@ifevolution on twitter.
Replied on : December 18th, 2009 at 4:24 PM
lol. Maybe she got one of those for xmas last year?
[Reply]
Yuk! So creepy it sounds like something out of the Twilight Zone to me. Where do those cookies come from? Hmmmm.
.-= Zen Mom´s last blog ..Ain’t Misbehavin’ =-.
[Reply]
Nancy
@ifevolution on twitter.
Replied on : December 18th, 2009 at 4:33 PM
We may never know……….
Today the man I worked for asked him for the recipe for those coookies (trouble maker that he is). John’s reply was “some cookbook. I’ll have her make them again for you.
[Reply]
with nothing better to do(right?), i thought of making some cookies and then i remembered your cookies from john and realized, i never mentioned that food from the trash is not ok…unless it is the best you can do and you have consented. surely he would not deceive you. that would be too freakish teetering on psycho.
.-= magda´s last blog ..The Facelift =-.
[Reply]
Nancy
@ifevolution on twitter.
Replied on : December 18th, 2009 at 4:34 PM
One would hope, huh?
[Reply]
@HeatherM74 on twitter.
said:
I kind of threw up over the freegans. Blech.
I’m hoping the cookies came from the cookie factory. LOL
[Reply]
Nancy
@ifevolution on twitter.
Replied on : December 18th, 2009 at 4:35 PM
Me too!
[Reply]
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