Did I Do the Right Thing?
So, I’m throwing this out there to you, because I’m not quite sure I did the right thing.
A little background:
My family is very close with another family. They are wonderful people and include us in so many of their celebrations. This weekend was no different. They have a lovely backyard with a pool, a dining area, a fireplace and an outdoor theater. It’s always just a FUN food fest there!
They were hosting a High School graduation party for their niece. Their sister (who I am very friendly with) and ex-brother in law paid for the whole thing.
My son and I went, envelope in hand for the niece’s gift. Let me preface this by saying that in all the years I’ve known this family, the niece has said maybe one word to me. She’s also not very nice to my son. But I figured, it’s a nice night out, I am close with the rest of the family and I hadn’t seen them all in couple of weeks.
We pull up and there is a spot open in front of the house. I go to pull in and the niece tells me it is reserved for her friend. No “hello”. No “I’m sorry but…”. Just “You can’t park here, it’s reserved for my friend”. I park elsewhere.
We go into the party and I help out with serving the food. The ex-brother in law is frantic about the food at one point. “Where is the mustard and mayo?” ”Why aren’t the serving utensils out yet?” Etc.
I say to him “Chill a little A.J., we are getting there”. His response “No one tells me to chill out”. (You can see where his daughter gets her charm).
I really was so put off by the ex-brother in law and the neice. I watched the neice through out the night say hello and speak to many of the people there. Still not one word or even look my way. Never acknowledged my presence. The ex-brother in law was not any better. The rest of the night all he could say to me was “I’m chilling”.
So my question to you……
Did I do the right thing in not handing over my gift to the niece? I had it in my bag the whole night. A card and a $50 cash. Just curious.
I’m thinking that they don’t read your blog! LOL
That’s a tough one…But, considering it’s your neighbors niece and not their own child makes it easier for you to do that. She also doesn’t sound very appreciative of anyting, either. She actually sounded quite rude along with the ex-brither in-law. If I was receiving treatment like that, I would have done the same thing.
[Reply]
@ifevolution on twitter.
(author) said:
Only you guys know about my blog
To me it’s like my online diary!!
Th niece is a complete b*tch. I couldn’t decide if we should go or not, but then my son wanted to hang with the younger kids. Should have just skipped the part.
[Reply]
@kathym425 on twitter.
said:
You definitely did the right thing. You were kind and generous enough to bring a gift for someone you barely know simply because she is a family member of people that you do know and are close to. She and her father were rude, ungracious and just plain disrespectful towards you and didn’t deserve your kindness. Normally, when a child treats people badly, I say that the parents didn’t teach them well. Unfortunately, her father taught her very well; to be just like him! What a shame!
.-= Kat´s last blog ..Introduction – Part 2 =-.
[Reply]
OMG, I would have done the same thing. How freaking rude were they? And you were helping out, too? Good for you for not giving the gift.
.-= Loukia´s last blog ..I wish… =-.
[Reply]
@beths_confusion on twitter.
said:
Only you know the answer to that, meaning there are so many variables that it’s one have to be there things. But either way a gift isn’t required to attend a party like that, so IMO no harm there. You weren’t being rude to anyone, you just opted to not give a gift based on a lack of any real connection to the person.
.-= beth aka confusedhomemaker´s last blog ..Uphill Both Ways With Sourdough Strapped to My Back =-.
[Reply]
@ifevolution on twitter.
(author) said:
Thanks everyone! It’s still really bugging me. I think I would be kicking myself now if I had given the gift.
[Reply]
I think you did the right thing and I would have done the same thing. I would take that $50 and go and buy a pair of fabulous shoes!!
.-= Shanta @ Natural Mom Loves Prada´s last blog ..required reading list =-.
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Because I hate being gossiped about, I would have left the card, and then kicked myself. If I were stronger and had thicker skin? I’d do what you did! Nice work!
.-= LZ @ My Messy Paradise´s last blog ..Christmas, already? =-.
[Reply]
@ifevolution on twitter.
(author) said:
Thanks for backing me up. I do feel bad that I stiffed them on a gift, but then I remember how disrepectful they both were and I get over the “feeling bad” pretty quickly.
[Reply]
If anyone notices that there was no gift, you could feign surprise and then give her a little book on manners.
.-= Beth´s last blog ..Build a bridge and get over it =-.
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I clicked over from the Mom Blog Network, having read your entry there and finding it thought-provoking. I guess I like a good ethical question. I think that the fact that you were pitching in without having been asked to do so sounds like a gift of sorts. And a gift given begrudgingly isn’t much of a gift at all. Sounds like the niece and ex-BIL maybe aren’t so fond of you. No gift would change that. Hopefully you can return it and get something nice — maybe an empty-nest gift for the sister (the girl’s mom, right?), acknowledging how hard it is to watch a child grow up, graduate, and head out into the world.
.-= Jenny Penny´s last blog ..Self Evaluation for Performance Review =-.
[Reply]
@ifevolution on twitter.
(author) said:
Beth: Good idea. Maybe Santa will leave a copy under their tree this year?
Jenny: It only slightly bothers me now that I didn’t give a gift. The ex Husband and the daughter are really just creeps. The Ex-H is an alcoholic and the daughter is just an outright biotch, so I don’t take it personally. Nice idea for the mom though! She deserves a gift more than the daughter does. Thanks for your insight.
[Reply]
Wow. Such rudeness. I think you did the right thing. $50.00 is a lot of money and why give it away when you know it won’t be appreciated.
Strange though for you to be invited to a party when you aren’t acquainted with her. At least I think so.
.-= Zeemaid´s last blog ..Boy am I naive =-.
[Reply]
@ifevolution on twitter.
(author) said:
Thanks
I’ve known the niece for years now. I always just believed she was unfriendly. I learned that day that she’s also incredibly rude and arrogant.
[Reply]
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