It is with a smile that I ask the following of you, now that you are back home from your 3 week trip. You were missed, however there are some things I would like to ask of you now that you have returned.
- Do not touch the laundry. Ever. Don’t even move it from the washer to the drier. Don’t fold it. Don’t look at it. Nothing. You never put any of it away, so I will leave that side of it out.
- Do not unload the dishwasher unless you are going to put EVERYTHING away. Leaving the utensil bin on the counter completely full and the pots and pans on the island does not count for being “put away”. If you can’t do it all, don’t even bother.
- The sink is NOT the garbage can. There is no reason to leave ice cream wrappers in the sink. Go for burning the extra 2 calories by bending slightly at the waist and placing in in the garbage can located directly UNDER that sink.
- Shovel the fronts stairs when it snows. Just because you enter through the garage doesn’t mean the rest of the world should fall on their ass because the front stairs are slippery.
- Do not pick out our son’s clothing. I buy him pretty safely colored clothing and how you could possibly come up with the rare selection that doesn’t match is beyond me. Royal Blue pants paired with an orange tee shirt is a big fat NO. There is no reason for him to look like a homeless child. He will just get picked on. I ask you to abide by this for the sake of your son’s social welfare.
- Decorative pillows are not foot rests. That’s what the ottoman is for. Perhaps if you took the slippers and tv remotes out of the magazine rack and put the newspapers from the ottoman in them instead, then everything could be used in the way they were intended to be used.
- It’s fine that you like the cookies I buy, however could you not leave the empty bag in the pantry? That’s just plain inconsiderate. I could have replaced them had I known there were none left. Now I am left with my tea and…….nothing.
- I’m sorry you can’t sleep sometimes. I know it stinks to be up at 4:30 am and not be able to fall back asleep. However why does everyone else have to get up too? Can’t you close the bedroom doors before you turn on lights in the other rooms? Can’t you just take a few ice cubes directly from the freezer rather than using the (loud) automatic ice dispenser?
Anyway…welcome home. We are glad you are back.
PS: When is your next trip?