Twenty One: Learning To Love Myself?

Onto a new book. One to help me climb back out.

Sitting on the porch and it’s chilly out…but in a really great, snuggly way. My dog is laying right next to me. And we are watching a bird in our bird bath.  It is Sunday, my most favorite day of the week. Its a day to be in peace and in the moment with not a plan or care in the world. Whatever makes me 🙂

It’s been 9 days since I’ve had interaction with him and I have done a bunch of work on myself. Gone easy on myself. Given myself a vacation from having to figure anything out in my life. Read a ton. Observed. Tied loose thoughts thoughts together. Been in nature. Golfed to relax. Spent time with people and gotten to know them better. Let my walls down a bit. Soften up.

Soften up. Wow. When was the last time I felt truly soft? When’s the last time I lived without an  offense/defense perspective on everything? Exhausting.

I’ve had 9 days of living with my shoulders down. I can relax.

Im ready to stay no contact.

i love writing. I really do.  I love it here on my porch, in my own good company and my favorite things. Reflecting and expressing and connecting.

I keep saying I want love in my life and I keep reading that I have to learn tolove myself first. I haven’t really been able to wrap my head around loving myself.  I’m not feeling ‘it’.

(My little sidekick dog is now snooping through the front garden. Thought it was to see where that bird went, but I was wrong.  He just peed on Mother Nature.)

To learn to love myself I need to start somewhere, right? So perhaps I need to begin with becoming a soft female again. I remember liking that part of me a lot.

Think im in the mood for Something’s Gotta Give.

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