In my efforts to find peace with myself and in my life, I’ve been following a 40 day program. (I’m half way through it.) I’m leaving the name of it out of this lest I sound cultish or crazy. But I won’t leave out that I learned about this program from an online psychic. Horoscopes just weren’t doing it for me anymore. Neither was the online version of the Magic 8 Ball. Just a girl looking for answers here. What can I say?
Today the phrase “Defenses are Fences” was mentioned.
I realize that I’ve spent so much time looking at how people do or don’t do things for me or to me. I have so many grievances. I take everything personally. And I’ve become so defensive and shut down because of this. So uncomfortable and unsure with of what my true feelings are and who I am inside. Think……bobble head.
I never am honest with myself, and rarely open with those around me. That is a fact.
This program I am following has let me see that when I let go of my grievances and open myself up to the universe, my defenses come down. When my fences come down I see the love I am capable of. I see the life I can have.
I have not felt this strong in many years. I have never felt so optimistic. I haven’t smiled and laughed this much in ages.
Why would I want life to be any other way?
On a side note, it’s been crazy humid and hot here. My wonderful wavy hair has turned into Albert Einstein hair. I am headed out shortly for a night with my girlfriends.
And 55 days until school starts 🙂