Seven: Defenses are Fences

In my efforts to find peace with myself and in my life,  I’ve been following a 40 day program.  (I’m half way through it.) I’m leaving the name of it out of this lest I sound cultish or crazy.  But I won’t leave out that I learned about this program from an online psychic.  Horoscopes just weren’t doing it for me anymore.  Neither was the online version of the Magic 8 Ball.  Just a girl looking for answers here. What can I say?

Today the phrase “Defenses are Fences” was mentioned.

I realize that I’ve spent so much time looking at how people do or don’t do things for me or to me.  I have so many grievances. I take everything personally.  And I’ve become so defensive and shut down because of this. So uncomfortable and unsure with of what my true feelings are and who I am inside.  Think……bobble head.

I never am honest with myself, and rarely open with those around me.  That is a fact.

This program I am following has let me see that when I let go of my grievances and open myself up to the universe, my defenses come down.  When my fences come down  I see the love I am capable of. I see the life I can have.

I have not felt this strong in many years.  I have never felt so optimistic.  I haven’t smiled and laughed this much in ages.

Why would I want life to be any other way?

On a side note, it’s been crazy humid and hot here.  My wonderful wavy hair has turned into Albert Einstein hair.  I am headed out shortly for a night with my girlfriends.

And 55 days until school starts 🙂

 

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